Meeting Luke: The Story

We took our time yesterday enjoying each other, just the three of us. How crazy it was to think that in a moment, everything would change. We shared lots of laughs, prayed together, talked, went for a walk, just enjoyed.

Breakfast

The beautiful place in our hotel where we have breakfast every morning!

Playing several close games of "Go Fish!"

Abi's play dough creation: Combining all colors to create a hill to put this cross on. The cross was made by a very sweet little friend of ours to bring with us to China. (And Ruah...sorry that Abi took the buttons off the cross, she wanted to use them in her playdough hill creation!)

And after this, we found ourselves in the van headed to the civil affairs office. I felt completely prepared, yet completely unprepared. Would he like us? Would he cry? How will all of our bonding go? Will the nannies like us? These thoughts and so many more going through my head. Abi was quiet, and I asked her how she was doing. She said, "I'm just thinking. I just need some time to think." So much precious-ness in that little girl's heart. As the drive continued, Abi asked a few questions about Luke, and then we prayed together. What a great moment with my daughter.

We walk into the civil affairs office, and I can barely think. I'm trying to make sure I have my camera on video, and that I don't mess the video up! Andrew was going to be the one to first hold Luke, and I was going to video. Then, there he was. I think time stood still in that moment. I know other people were trying to talk to us, and other people were receiving their children (two other families), but to me it was as if it was just us in the whole world. It was certainly just us in my world.

The Chinese women who we hadn't met yet, but who we knew cared for Luke, handed him to Andrew. He looked at Andrew inquisitively, and Abi immediately burst out with joy and started petting his face. :) He was OK with it the first two times, but you could tell he started feeling uncomfortable with it after several more. :)

Then it was my turn to hold him. He wimpered a little bit, and in Chinese I said, "No need to be afraid." Abi kept dancing around us, absolutely beside herself with joy. It was amazing. Luke started to wimper some more, and we gave him a well-known Chinese treat. He gobbled them all up, and that lifted his spirit.

We signed a few papers and took our first family photo. It was all happening so fast. Something we had waited for for so long, but this moment happening so quickly. Couldn't we push the pause button so I could take it all in? We asked the caretakers several questions: How was his health? What is his daily schedule? What is his general temperament like? What are his favorite foods? Who is his favorite nanny? And many more. Like the overprotective and lovesick parents you would imagine, there we were asking all the questions we had thought of to help give our little Luke the greatest love we can. We found out that Luke, thanks to "Half the Sky Foundation," got to be in foster care from the time he was six months old until he came to us. This was amazing news!! It meant that he learned to bond, and that he got special care and love from his foster mama and baba. We will get to meet them tomorrow when we go to his orphanage!

Now it was time to go, and Luke's orphanage director and nurse headed out. Luke cried for them, and it was indeed a sad moment. These women cared for him for 17 months, during some of the most important months of his life. I wanted to cry but didn't for the sake of Luke, and because it is not culturally appropriate to cry in public. I just held him closer and said, "I know." and then in Chinese, "I love you. No need to be afraid." Later, I cried when everyone was asleep.

And there we were. Just like that, a family of four. Just like that, dreams of God happening in our very midst. Who are we to get to be on this journey? Who are we to be given such a gift? Not once, but twice?

We drove to a local supermarket and bought the formula Luke had been using, as well as a stroller, diapers, wipes, and baby snacks. (You don't take any of this with you from America, but you wait and get the ones in China that he has been using.) Then our guide took us home. We stepped out of the car and talked about what would happen the next day. She said, "Good luck!" as we headed off with our new son.

We got into our room, and set him down on the floor to walk around and check things out. We changed his diaper and his clothes, and Abi was all too excited to play with baby brother. After taking a few minutes to just let him gaze around, we put him in the crib with Abi because she wanted to play in there with him. This was when we got to start really seeing Luke. "Coy" would be the word I would use to describe this little fellow. He would act shy with Abi only to make plans to tease her in the end. To see their relationship come to life was like watching the most beautiful flowers open for the first time. There they were, opening for the first time, and life was filling our room and our lives.

We headed our for dinner to a place that was strictly local cuisine. We got salted duck, steamed bun with pork, noodles with beef and bok choy, and rice. Luke was not interested in eating! He had fun playing with his noodles, but actually eating it was of no interest to him. :) Abi and Andrew ate their fill though, and I was too enthralled with Luke to each much of anything either. What hunger? He was filling it.

We headed back to the hotel and played some more. I could see how tired Luke was getting, and since it was nearing 8 p.m. anyway we decided it was time for bed. We made his bottle, and I fed it to him. He fell asleep in my arms and I laid him in his crib. Abi watched a "Doc McStuffins" video, and we cuddled and gave good-night kisses and prayers, then she was fast asleep. Andrew fell asleep around that time too, then it was my turn.

Luke wimpered/cried a few times in his sleep, but never woke up. He did wake up fully crying around 5:15 a.m. We put him in bed with us at that time. He laid him on my chest, and he felt uncomfortable putting his cheek on my chest. It seemed shocking to him because the second he would put his cheek on my chest, he would harshly react by throwing his head immediately up. I could tell he had not had very much skin-to-skin contact and I made a mental note to myself that we will be doing lots of physical affection for the next several months. Human touch is powerful and precious. Luke finally fell asleep on me, and didn't wake up until about 6:45 a.m.

When he woke up, he giggled at the first sight of Abi. They really do have something special happening. When I say to him, "Where is JeJe?" he looks right at her. "JeJe" is "big sister" in Chinese. He already knows that she is his big sister. The same is true when I say, "Where is Baba?" He looks right at Andrew. Could this be happening already?

As we signed our adoption papers today, I was reminded of something Andrew said to me when we first received Luke's file. When he was found at approximately 1 month old, he was blue and had pneumonia and pulmonary hypertension. He was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect and they performed open heart surgery. He was just two months old by then. The CHD did not turn out to be serious, and he recovered well from surgery and has done great ever since. He also had a hernia that he had surgery for, plus he has the extra little thumb (which we will have surgically removed within the year). We met with an international pediatric adoption specialist about Luke, and she explained things clearly but also said there is a chance that he could have long-term heart or lung problems, even if they are small. Or, she said, he could be totally fine and never have any health issues. She felt "cautiously optimistic." As Andrew and I prayed and deliberated, feeling deeply that this was our son, but yet feeling cautious, Andrew said to me, "How about we just decide to take care of him no matter what, no matter what comes our way." I said, "That sounds good to me." This is our commitment to him -- to take care of him with great love, compassion and joy, no matter what comes our way.