We are three full days away from getting on our airplane bound for Nanjing, China. As we get closer to our flight time of 6 a.m. on Thursday, July 30, my thoughts become more frequent of Luke's birth parents. Before we met Abi, and all I had of her were pictures, I often thought about how I would have loved to have carried her in my womb. And since we have had her, there have been a couple of times that I have yearned for that. But that has changed. You see, Abi was never meant to be in my womb. And I have come to love Abi so much that I have gained a deep honor for the woman of the womb that did carry her; a deep honor for both of her birth parents. I would never want to wish that Abi was in my womb because that would be to wish that she was not in her birth mother's womb. Already, her birth mom does not get to experience what I experience every day: a beautiful little girl who is full of zeal, passion, depth, joy, hilarity, wonder, curiosity, and love. Deep, deep love. I am so glad that Abi's birth mom at least got to experience the beauty of Abi growing in her.
Many people liken adoption to pregnancy. In well-intentioned and loving ways, they say to me, "When are you 'due'?" or, "Oh, you're traveling!? It's like you have your 'due' date!" I totally understand their hearts, and certainly felt that way when we were first headed to get Abi. But I don't at all feel that way anymore. In fact, I cringe thinking of any of this in that way. Adoption is not pregnancy. Pregnancy is not adoption. Each carry their own sets of wonder and pain. Let us honor and recognize them as they each are.
For me, I am so glad that both Abi and Luke grew in the tummies they grew in. I completely and totally honor their birth parents. Both of my children had their "due" dates, and it was the dates they were born to their birth parents. I love those dates! I am so grateful that their birth parents let their children live, that they took the crazy risk, that none of us can ever imagine, to leave their children to be found by someone else and carry the hope that their children will be taken care of.
To the unknown parents of Abi and Luke, yet known to God, I want you to know: Andrew and I honor you in every way we possibly can. I am so thankful that you gave our little ones a chance to live. And I want you to know, that together -- the two of you and the two of us -- we will raise these precious ones to live the wild and crazy and glorious life they are meant to live. We carry you and honor you in our hearts!
Many people liken adoption to pregnancy. In well-intentioned and loving ways, they say to me, "When are you 'due'?" or, "Oh, you're traveling!? It's like you have your 'due' date!" I totally understand their hearts, and certainly felt that way when we were first headed to get Abi. But I don't at all feel that way anymore. In fact, I cringe thinking of any of this in that way. Adoption is not pregnancy. Pregnancy is not adoption. Each carry their own sets of wonder and pain. Let us honor and recognize them as they each are.
For me, I am so glad that both Abi and Luke grew in the tummies they grew in. I completely and totally honor their birth parents. Both of my children had their "due" dates, and it was the dates they were born to their birth parents. I love those dates! I am so grateful that their birth parents let their children live, that they took the crazy risk, that none of us can ever imagine, to leave their children to be found by someone else and carry the hope that their children will be taken care of.
To the unknown parents of Abi and Luke, yet known to God, I want you to know: Andrew and I honor you in every way we possibly can. I am so thankful that you gave our little ones a chance to live. And I want you to know, that together -- the two of you and the two of us -- we will raise these precious ones to live the wild and crazy and glorious life they are meant to live. We carry you and honor you in our hearts!
I love you Heather Jean.You amaze me. Your faithful heart, ahhhhh To state the obvious, God so knew what he was doing when he picked you and Andrew for Abi and Luke.
ReplyDeleteHis goodness and great faithfulness has blessed you and The Church. To Him be the glory forever! There are no words that can express the amazement and ahhhh of God's great love.
Journey on in this grand adventure! Journey on sista!
Thank you, sista!!! I love you!!!
DeleteAmen and amen. You are precious sister. Go be blessed and enjoy this chapter of your dreams coming true. And it really is about choosing life and love. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for writing, Heather. This post really touched me.
ReplyDeleteI join in prayer for Abi and Luke's birth parents, that they are blessed by the knowledge of what wonderful little people they grew, and that they gain enormous peace in knowing that Abi and Luke gained the most unbelievably loving parents, and are part of wonderful family and home.
As a friend and family member of adoptive parents, I also just want to thank you for so generously writing about the experiences of situations where someone, either well-intentioned or not, has said something that stung. It is so invaluable to understand insights into what may sound loving in one's head, but really misses the mark.
Many blessings to you all, and thank you again for sharing!