How is Abi?

Abi is such an amazing human. From the moment we saw her face on December 21, 2011, to when we held her in our arms on July 16, 2012, we knew two things about her: she lived with passion, and she had a generous spirit. Since we became a family, I have seen these two things be absolutely true, and so much more. She has a beautiful strong will, she lives on mission, she seeks to serve, and she is a true and loyal friend. She is also super cheeky and funny! Abi and I have grown very, very close and besides Andrew she is truly my soul mate. We have spent hours upon hours playing together, cuddling, swinging, arguing, irritating each other, laughing, dancing, singing, worshiping, praying, reading, talking, processing and gazing.

I knew Abi was an amazing little girl, but I have seen a whole new depth to her on this trip. She has went from being an only child with my and Andrew's full attention, to being a sibling and sharing her parents, with a child who did not grow in my belly and who she has never met before. And all of this in an entirely different country, with a different language, different food, different smells, different everything. She is Chinese and China is not foreign to her, plus we incorporate Chinese culture and food in our every day life. But she has been in America for over three years now. so China is not as familiar to her now. Even so, she has extended a deep love and acceptance to Luke that is incredibly loving and kind. Every day she says to Andrew and I, "If you need anything, just let me know." She is constantly looking for ways to help and does things without us even asking! She will tell me, "You got this, Mom! I am here for you if you need me!" Who is this child?!

Abi and Baba after an amazing meal at "Grandma's Home" tonight!

When Luke takes his nap or goes to bed at night, I lay with her in bed and ask her what she thinks about the day...what did she like, what didn't she like, how is she doing. Last night, she said to me, "We get to keep baby brother." That was all she said. She really truly loves him so much.

Bath time tonight!

Abi loves playing with Luke but he does not always love playing with her. I've noticed that Luke now sees Abi has a bit of a threat to what and who he is becoming to love, which is common in kids who have lived in an orphanage. Even though he was in loving foster care, he still was in the orphanage and did not have anything that was just "his." So, when Abi sits down to play with him with his toys, he has started to strongly push her away. Or, when she wants a hug from me or needs some mama love, he also gets mad and tries to push her away. Today, he pulled her hair. :(

But what does Abi do? There was one time when she said, "Baby brother, that's not nice!" Other times she says, "Bu hao." which means "no good." But something she did today totally blew my mind. He pulled her hair, which clearly hurt, but instead of lashing back or walking away in a huff, she gently reached up to his face and stroked it, smiling into his eyes. Then she said, "I love you baby brother" as she walked away. While we had talked about the potential behavior Luke might have, and how we'll need to do our best with the help of the Holy Spirit to be gentle and kind even when he is not, I did not anticipate the warmth Abi would have towards him even when he brought her pain. It was as if she knew that he was acting out because of his need for his own healing, and she just chose to be family to him in that moment. Abi, I am always learning from you, and here I am, learning from you again.

Abi making us laugh tonight at "Grandma's Home"!

So far, she has not had a hard time sharing us with Luke, but she has mentioned a few times that she is "feeling upset about sharing my grandparents with Luke." We talked through that a little, but we will see how that goes when it comes. :)

Abi got her feelings hurt tonight. She starting leaving the hotel, going through the revovling door thinking we were all leaving, but we weren't, and I said fearfully, "Abi -- no, we're not leaving yet!" It freaked me out that I saw my child walking out of the hotel when we were not. A few of the hotel staff stopped the revolving door and made it go backwards so that she could easily come back in to the hotel. This whole thing caused several people to focus on Abi, all of whom she didn't know except me. If there is anything Abi hates, it is being the center of attention. At first she got an angry look on her face. But then as her and I got closer (within seconds) to each other, I said, "I am so sorry that happened. Are you OK?" she burst into tears. She said I hurt her feelings with my voice, and that she felt embarrassed in front of everybody. To top it off, I had Luke in the Boba on me, and while she needed tons of love, Luke kept trying to push her away from me since he was obviously feeling threatened and did not want me to help Abi. (Andrew was upstairs in our room and we were waiting for him to come down.) But what did Abi do? She could have gotten really upset with Luke for pushing her away. She needed her mama! But instead, she just went around to my back, to where he couldn't get to her, and wrapped her arms around my neck. I held her from behind as best I could and gave her all of the comfort and attention that I was able to. Then Baba came, and she was able to be wrapped up in his arms with no chance of little brother pushing her away. :)

Later we talked more about this and how she was doing. She said she "didn't want brother to be that way," and also that I really did hurt her feelings. But then said, "I know brother will learn. We just have to teach him. And I forgive you, Mom." Her heart amazes me!

There is one area that Abi has had a hard time in. All of the touring! She gets bored, and she also gets tired of walking. This is so understandable, she is only four! And it's a lot of historical information, much of which she just isn't interested in knowing yet. We got smart today and brought a big stroller from our hotel for her to sit in, and her current favorite coloring book to enjoy, plus extra fun snacks. :)

Here she is coloring while we are in the Nanching museum!

Besides enjoying baby brother, Abi has loved swimming at the hotel, being in our hotel room (she thinks it is really cool!), eating Chinese dumplings and candy, and participating in any shopping we have done. She LOVES shopping! Even if she doesn't get anything, she absolutely loves looking at things, especially clothes and shoes. She has already picked out her wedding dress, which I took a picture of her by today. :)

Abi has said a few times that she is excited to go home not because she doesn't like China (she often declares, "This is my country and this is my language!") but because she wants her friends and grandparents to meet her "baby brother."

I cried for quite a while a few days ago when both the kids were napping. I thought about all of the times Abi and I have had together and that, while we will always be close, and we will only get closer, and we will still get to go on dates together and whatnot, we will never have a time like this again like we've had the last three years. Besides my marriage, and soon my son, she is the greatest treasure I have been given on Planet Earth. Thank you, God, for the gift of Abigail, "joy of the Father"!