Luke's first home: His orphanage

We got to visit Luke's first home yesterday, his orphanage. It was an optional thing to do while here, but not optional in our minds. It was long day, but well worth it. Eight hours of driving, with a lifetime of memories that we will get to share with Luke forever. Thankfully, both of our kids did great on this long day!

I mentioned in a previous post that on Gotcha Day, we found out that our son had been in foster care since he was six months old. I'm not sure why our agency didn't tell us that, but we were so blessed to learn about him being in foster care! This meant that he would have learned how to bond and attach, and would have received greater one-on-one care, not to mention learning about being in a family. Knowing he had been in foster care made our excitement even greater in visiting the orphanage. We would get to meet his foster parents!!

On our way!

Are those two kids the cutest little things you've ever seen? Before you wonder, "Why aren't they in car seats?" let me tell you: they don't use car seats in China. :) The kids either sit on your lap, or just in their own seat. They do have seat buckles though!

After our four-hour drive, we arrived at the orphanage. Luke didn't seem too interested in where we were, though I knew the minute he saw his foster mom and his favorite nanny, things would change. I felt excited to get to meet his foster parents, but sad as I anticipated the pain our little Luke would experience. First things first, we get to meet the orphanage director.

Meeting the orphanage director

Our sweet guide is on the left, Nancy, and the amazing orphanage director is on the right. The Chinese should be happy that I care about culture, and therefore studied a lot about Chinese culture over the last three years. Otherwise, I would have been hugging the orphanage director, and kissing her cheeks a million times! I'm just so thankful.

 After meeting the director, we head to the "children's building" where all of the foster families live, and also where the play room is that Luke played in. We walk past a lovely outdoor play ground and I envision our little Luke enjoying himself on the toys.

Entrance of the children's building. So cute! A cute little girl leading the way too. :)

Headed down the hallway to the home of Luke's foster family. What a cool picture -- bright light at the end of a darkened pathway. I know that Luke's foster family was a bright light in his pathway!

And there she is: a beautiful woman with a smile a mile wide saying, "Xin Wei! Xin Wei"! He lit up and reached for her, and experienced the embrace once again of the woman he called and knew as "Mama" for 11 months of his life!

How amazing to see and meet her. Her smile blew me away. You could feel her generous spirit, and you could visibly see the love and kindness she had for Luke. I saw that he was "home." His spirit settled, and he was both peaceful and sassy -- a great combination of a heart that says, "I can be me."

I literally wanted to wash the feet of these two people that cared for our son as their own.

Luke's foster mama and baba. Have you ever seen two more beautiful people? I haven't! There is only one other that holds a place in my heart like they do, and that is Abi's foster mama whom we also got to meet when we got Abi. Thank God for the hearts of those who held my children's hearts!

If I could have stood or sat by Luke's foster mama the entire time with my arm in hers, I would have. She was so joyful to see Luke again, and so happy to meet us. We asked her questions that only a mama would know the answers to. "What is his personality like?" "What makes him sad? Happy? Angry?" "What are his favorite foods?" "What are your favorite memories of him?" "What do you want us to know so we can care for him like you have?" She said he loves to play and walk, and that his favorite toy is the rocking horse. She said that when he is sad or angry, just take him for a walk or put him on the rocking horse, and he will be happy again. She reiterated how much he loves to play. She also said his skin is sensitive to the sun and to keep him out of the sun. And she said his favorite food is dumplings. Then guess what she brought out?!

She made us her homemade dumplings!! It was literally the best food I had had so far. We tried getting them to eat with us, but they wouldn't. And Luke was too happy to be sitting on the lap of his foster mama that he didn't want any either. These dumplings were amazing!!! I couldn't believe that she made them for us.

Luke's foster mom and dad have three other foster kids. So Luke got to have foster siblings. They were all excited to see him. Each of them have down's syndrome. It was so good to meet them!! Here is their whole family. Such beautiful hearts this foster mama and baba have!! I love these photos -- you can see the essence of life in this family!

We also got to see where Luke slept. What a treat!

A few more pictures to share of this amazing time...

Taking notes of everything his foster mom shared!

Luke would not leave his foster mama's side the entire time we were there! I'm so glad he had this time. I'm so glad we had this time.

Cute foster brother!

We are so thankful! We will forever be connected to this beautiful family.

We gave gifts to the foster parents and said our good-bye's. I asked our guide if we would be coming to see them again before we left the orphanage, and she said no, this was it. My heart struggled to hear those words. Just twenty minutes with two people who spent 11 months caring for, and loving, our son. As we left, Luke clung to his foster mama. He began to weep and weep as the women told him in Chinese that it was time to go, and kept pointing to me that I am his mama. I have never fought back the tears so much in my life. I wanted him to have another day with her. A chance to feel her love again, hear her voice, eat her food, play with her. But it was time to go and there was nothing I could do about that. We had to literally pry his fingers off of her, as she said "go with mama, go with mama," and closed the door. What strength it must have taken for her to do that, strength only a true mother has. He arched his back as I held him, and he literally screamed with tears of sorrow. I knew that in the end, this was the best for him -- a forever family. And I knew we were meant to be his mama and baba forever, and Abi his sister, but in this moment, I turned my back to those we were walking with so as to not offend, and wept with my son in his moment of misery.

From here, we went to the play area where Luke played a lot with his favorite nanny and other children.

Luke still crying from missing his foster mama, while climbing onto his favorite rocking horse.

My two kiddos. Luke is starting to cheer up.

Luke's favorite nanny

Another picture of the play room

Another picture of the play room with a cute little girl in it

My favorite little girl :)

Luke cried again as we left because he had to say good-bye to his favorite nanny. Such pain! I silently prayed for his little heart, as I prayed for mine: that God would give us His grace and wisdom to love and parent this treasure well.

After we left the play room, they showed us outside where Luke played, then took us to a room where they had prepared a beautiful lunch for us! It was amazing to get to enjoy a meal with these treasured souls in Luke's life story, and now in ours. They spoiled us with incredible Chinese cuisine.

We all enjoyed one another's company. I loved hearing them all talk to each other. I loved looking around the room and thinking about how each one of them has impacted my son, and now my life. We are continents apart, yet held together by a mutual love for Luke. They gave a toast to us (coca-cola in the glasses), saying that Xin Wei is a special boy and that they are glad he is with us, and that they hope we will keep in touch. They would not let us give them a toast. They expected nothing for the greatness they have given. This is certainly the Chinese way, of which I have so much to learn. We should have been giving the toast, we should have made the meal, but here they were doing that for us. I am humbled.

After lunch, it was time to make our four-hour car ride home. I didn't want to leave. I wished we could have stayed the night with them and heard them re-tell stories of Luke, and let them enjoy some more time with him, and he with them. But that was not what we could do, so on our way we had to be. Dear Lord, please imprint these precious moments on my heart! We shared some last words, got their email addresses, and took final pictures.

Abi connected with this lovely woman who is on the orphanage administrative staff

Abi was reaching in her bag to give everyone money. (Andrew has been giving her any change that he gets in China when we pay for things.) Abi has this thing...when she feels really thankful for people, she wants to give them money. In general, she wants to give money to anyone. She has something special about her in that regard. When she gave them money, they wanted to give it back to her but it made her really mad. I explained to the guide to please tell them it was an expression of her love, so once the guide told them that, they kept the money and this made Abi feel better. She is so sweet!!

One more photo together

Our family in front of Luke's first home

Our two kiddos on the way home.

While it was a long day, I was so thankful for the four-hour ride back. I am very-much an internal processer, and I cherished the drive we had to ponder, think and pray about what we experienced. Both kiddos slept for about three hours of the four-hour drive. They were tuckered out! And we were tuckered too. It was a lot to take in. But so worth it. We will have this with us forever, and we will get to share it with Luke. He will have these precious photos and memories that we will get to talk about, and hopefully one day we will get to go back and visit this beautiful place and these beautiful people. May God bless them in every way!!